Sorry, this must have been meant for your other wife.

I think I’m insulted.
My husband; talented; smart; sexy, but apparently there is something wrong with his ears and maybe his eyes.. We have been married now for over 6 years. And throughout that entire time, I have never like mustard. I have not been overly fond of turkey and just a day or two ago had an entire conversation with this man about how much we don’t like Swiss cheese.
I ask him to bring home lunch today and I get a Swiss cheese, turkey sandwich with mustard. What the heck?! Was is really meant for his other wife???? The one that enjoys everything I don’t??
It’s not the sandwich guys, I mean, I get that it’s just a sandwich and what’s the big deal really. But I was more than a little surprised that this roommate of mine knows so little about me. Now I sound dramatic, I know. I will say in my defense that this is just the latest example, lame as it is, of how much I am going unnoticed around here… Hello!!!
I mean, I know my man.
I know . . . .hmmm. . . . I know HE doesn’t like Swiss cheese! And. . . . tomatoes, lettuce or onions. I know he loves extra pickles. Hates liver.
He prefers my hair down and likes to talk Big but runs like a girl if I call his bluff.
He says he doesn’t like cats, but he does, and he likes to steal my pillows, which he’s doing now.
I know that pillow thieven’ man of mine.
Why doesn’t he know me?
Why doesn’t he know how I like my sandwiches?
What kind of deodorant I use, what size clothes I wear, that I don’t have time to change the pictures on the digital picture frame that he gave me for my birthday.
Why doesn’t he know that I don’t like marshmallows in my ice cream, or steak sauce on my steak? It’s not like I ever keep quite about these things. . . .I’m not a doormat or anything.
And for the record, I know, my husband wouldn’t like it if I were. . . .
Maybe I’m too observant. Maybe I have too good of a memory. Maybe . . . . . .

I’ll just have to make liver for dinner tonight. . . .