Thursday, March 27, 2008


I have been away.
Away too long, I think.
I am busy, but will be back.

Monday, November 12, 2007

Back to the Basics

The holidays are here and showing up in all their glory. We are already starting to do the schedule shuffle; the shuffle, the bend, the twist and the squeeze.
I’m already a little sad about Christmas. My heart wants to reconnect with the true meaning of Christmas and drag everyone I love with me. I would love love, love, to do an “old fashion Christmas”. Where the emphasis was on friends, family, and the love of Jesus Christ instead of shopping and gifts.
Our extended family takes a vacation every year and rents a large house and we all spend about a week together. One of these years I’m going to be able to talk them into going someplace in the winter where there is snow. We could celebrate Christmas by taking sleigh rides, having snowball wars, baking cookies, singing carolls, decorating a tree with handmade ornaments, having the children perform skits and maybe even having the kids exchange handmade gifts.
But until then I have to find ways to keep the spirit alive in my own home. We have done that successfully thus far, and the joy and peace that we experience I desperately want to share. Especially, when my friends and family complain about the schedules, and the pressure. We of course have some of that because of accommodating others, but if we could all be on the same page……
It’s idealistic I know…..I just can’t help it.
Everyone complains about it, but no one wants to change it.
You either buy everyone that you know or may possible see a gift and you spend a lot of your time and money in the crowded stores shopping, or you simplify your list and spend the rest of the time avoiding those people that didn’t make the finial cut.
That is no way to spend the holidays. You should be enjoying your friends and family and making memories, not debt.
I know some of you have been able to avoid this. A lot of you shop throughout the year. Some of you spend your days in the kitchen baking instead of in the stores. And others draw names or play some sort of gift exchange game to cut your shopping list in half. I have done all of these things myself, but it’s not just about shopping and money…’s about joy and warmth, and love, family, friends, and yes…
But what is the definition of value to you? Do you give gifts that meet your own definition, or do you give gifts that meet what you think the receiver’s definition is?
How do you feel after you have given that gift?

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

I need some home health care.

I’m not exactly sure how it happened, but my house is sick. So very sick. It came on suddenly and has been a mysterious and stubborn illness.
One moment I will walk through a room and peace and wellness reign. The very next time I enter the same room I discover that my house has gotten sick and thrown up all over the place. It’s one thing to clean vomit up after a child, but when your house is sick, it’s like cleaning up after Clifford the Big Red Dog. The aftermath is just too massive.
Is there a Doctor in the house? How would I know? I can’t even find my shoe.

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

How to enable a three year old:

I’m going to rename the children in this blog. I knew at the time that calling them by their ages would be confusing over time, but I thought that I would always go back and think of the perfect names for them. Well, I still haven’t but I will settle for the oldest girl being called Queenie; the youngest girl being called Grape and the baby boy being called Cub.

Okay, so things are easier now. As of a few months ago, and sill to this day, things are getting easier. Queenie is now out of her terrible three phase and I have my angel back. That was a short sentence for something that has made such a major impact on my life and the lives of those around her. Unfortunately, Grape is now going through her difficult three stage. It’s still easier all around than Queenie’s, but I can not wait to get my normal kids back. Grape has most of her monster tendencies after the sun sets. She has very “awake” dreams. She sits up in bed and yells at me to stop brushing her hair, or to tell her sister to share; at the top of her lungs, mind you.
In the beginning I tried to comfort her by explaining that she was dreaming and to assure her that I was not trying to take her yogurt away. I have now resigned to going along with the fantasy.

2 a.m. Grape sits up in bed and screams repeatedly that Queenie took her dinosaur and that it’s NOT FAIR!

I fervently reprimand the villain and…. it works. She’s quietly sleeping for about 20 more minutes. Then I get the opportunity to referee another injustice of my daughter’s imagination.
The catch to my new found method is that my other daughter has to be in the mood to participate in this ummm…game.

After a rousing game of musical beds I found myself in the girl’s room with Grape, while Queenie was resting in my room with hubby. I was in and out of consciousness frequently to reassure Grape that everything was going to be fine. It’s not as much about her not being able to sooth herself, as it is me not wanting to have the entire house woken up every half hour to her screaming. Not screaming with terror, but with anger mostly. Infact, you take your hands in your own life if you even try to adjust her covers after she has fallen asleep. I know this is just a phase, so please don’t try to psycho analyze her, or me for that matter.
Anyway, I was sleeping in the girl’s room and this evening there must have been a scene involving Queenie stealing all of Grapes toys playing out in Grape’s dreams because she would regularly wake up enough to fuss and tell on her. Out of shear exhaustion I would resign to the fact that this is our life right now, and how dare her sister be so inconsiderate. “Queenie, give that back to Grape right now! And don’t do it again, “would fly out of my mouth without even opening my eyes.
But at some point during all of this fun, Queenie came back into the room and was quietly sleeping, until the next time I reprimanded her for taking her sister’s imaginary toys. “Mom, I didn’t do it!!”
“I know hunny. Grape is dreaming again.” I responded. All the while Grape is still screaming because I didn’t sound convincing enough.
So now on top of all the other hats I get to wear, I’m now required to be an A-list actress.
But things are getting better. I promise they are.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Amen Sista' !

Scene: 4 yr. old and 3 yr. old sitting at opposite ends of the kitchen table eating a soy butter and strawberry sandwich for lunch.

4 yr. old: “3 yr. old, before we were in mom’s tummy we were in Heaven. Isn’t that right mom? We were in Heaven before we were in your tummy?”

Mom: “Yes, 4 yr. old you were.”

4 yr. old: “Yeah, those were the good days.”

Friday, August 24, 2007

Nahnah Nahnanah Boots Boots!

The air gets crisp and even the trees themselves seem to shiver with unbridled energy. The clothes that flatter my body more than any other season come out and I get to wear boots! Black, brown, short, long, sleek, chunky and all fun, fun, fun. I get to cook warm comfort food and bake things with apple and cinnamon, and have warm drinks, and wear cute jackets, Oh! How I LOVE the Fall!
The anticipation of change hangs in the very air you breathe and fills you up from the inside out. Long walks are a must and the frisky animals make me laugh. Oh! How I LOVE the Fall!
But it’s not here.
I can’t find it.
I have looked everywhere, but there is no sign of it’s presence or it’s coming arrival.
I’m sad.
So I start thinking. What is it they say? If you will it, it will come?
So I set my plan into motion.
While the house still slept, I gingerly set the thermostat to 62 degrees. I put on a large pot of stew and get dressed in my blue jeans and boots, of course. I light a candle that has Fall written all over it and wait.
Others laughed, but I believe.
I will continue to spend my Saturday’s in a Fall like state. Until one day….one day it will arrive in all it’s splendor.
You may be laughing now, but soon it will be my turn. I can hear you now, “Help, I’m cold! Let me have your cute jacket and your adorable boots!” And you will hear me howl with laughter in return as I call back, “You can have them, if you can catch me!“

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Snakes, snails and puppy dog tails

My baby boy just turned a year old. At this point my husband and I are not planning on having any more children, but we have not done anything permanent to ensure that. Frankly, we like children way too much to ensure anything.

I was daydreaming the other day about having another boy so that my son would have a brother close in age. I see the girls enjoying each other so very much, and I want that for my boy. But there are sooooo many reasons why it was only a brief daydream.
For starters, I get sick when pregnant. Really sick. All nine months sick.
It’s better when I’m pregnant with boys than with girls, but it’s still, lay in the bathroom floor all day, sick.
I couldn’t effectively raise the three other children from the bathroom floor. Plus, there is no guarantee that we would get a boy.
And another issue is that well, I feel luck that my children were all born as healthy as they were. Yes, my boy needed open heart surgery, but it was treatable and we are now doing just fine. I hate to say that I fear having a child that is in a more permanent unhealthy state, but I do. Maybe not enough to Not have another child, but definitely enough to make me hesitant. All in all I would say this was fruitless conversation that worked it’s way out of my head and onto this screen.
Well now that’s better…..I guess since I’ve cleared some room up there, I should fill it with another daydream.