Tuesday, October 23, 2007

I need some home health care.

I’m not exactly sure how it happened, but my house is sick. So very sick. It came on suddenly and has been a mysterious and stubborn illness.
One moment I will walk through a room and peace and wellness reign. The very next time I enter the same room I discover that my house has gotten sick and thrown up all over the place. It’s one thing to clean vomit up after a child, but when your house is sick, it’s like cleaning up after Clifford the Big Red Dog. The aftermath is just too massive.
Is there a Doctor in the house? How would I know? I can’t even find my shoe.

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

How to enable a three year old:

I’m going to rename the children in this blog. I knew at the time that calling them by their ages would be confusing over time, but I thought that I would always go back and think of the perfect names for them. Well, I still haven’t but I will settle for the oldest girl being called Queenie; the youngest girl being called Grape and the baby boy being called Cub.


Okay, so things are easier now. As of a few months ago, and sill to this day, things are getting easier. Queenie is now out of her terrible three phase and I have my angel back. That was a short sentence for something that has made such a major impact on my life and the lives of those around her. Unfortunately, Grape is now going through her difficult three stage. It’s still easier all around than Queenie’s, but I can not wait to get my normal kids back. Grape has most of her monster tendencies after the sun sets. She has very “awake” dreams. She sits up in bed and yells at me to stop brushing her hair, or to tell her sister to share; at the top of her lungs, mind you.
In the beginning I tried to comfort her by explaining that she was dreaming and to assure her that I was not trying to take her yogurt away. I have now resigned to going along with the fantasy.

2 a.m. Grape sits up in bed and screams repeatedly that Queenie took her dinosaur and that it’s NOT FAIR!

I fervently reprimand the villain and…. it works. She’s quietly sleeping for about 20 more minutes. Then I get the opportunity to referee another injustice of my daughter’s imagination.
The catch to my new found method is that my other daughter has to be in the mood to participate in this ummm…game.

After a rousing game of musical beds I found myself in the girl’s room with Grape, while Queenie was resting in my room with hubby. I was in and out of consciousness frequently to reassure Grape that everything was going to be fine. It’s not as much about her not being able to sooth herself, as it is me not wanting to have the entire house woken up every half hour to her screaming. Not screaming with terror, but with anger mostly. Infact, you take your hands in your own life if you even try to adjust her covers after she has fallen asleep. I know this is just a phase, so please don’t try to psycho analyze her, or me for that matter.
Anyway, I was sleeping in the girl’s room and this evening there must have been a scene involving Queenie stealing all of Grapes toys playing out in Grape’s dreams because she would regularly wake up enough to fuss and tell on her. Out of shear exhaustion I would resign to the fact that this is our life right now, and how dare her sister be so inconsiderate. “Queenie, give that back to Grape right now! And don’t do it again, “would fly out of my mouth without even opening my eyes.
But at some point during all of this fun, Queenie came back into the room and was quietly sleeping, until the next time I reprimanded her for taking her sister’s imaginary toys. “Mom, I didn’t do it!!”
“I know hunny. Grape is dreaming again.” I responded. All the while Grape is still screaming because I didn’t sound convincing enough.
So now on top of all the other hats I get to wear, I’m now required to be an A-list actress.
But things are getting better. I promise they are.