Hello....???

I have been away.
Away too long, I think.
I am busy, but will be back.

Back to the Basics

The holidays are here and showing up in all their glory. We are already starting to do the schedule shuffle; the shuffle, the bend, the twist and the squeeze.
I’m already a little sad about Christmas. My heart wants to reconnect with the true meaning of Christmas and drag everyone I love with me. I would love love, love, to do an “old fashion Christmas”. Where the emphasis was on friends, family, and the love of Jesus Christ instead of shopping and gifts.
Our extended family takes a vacation every year and rents a large house and we all spend about a week together. One of these years I’m going to be able to talk them into going someplace in the winter where there is snow. We could celebrate Christmas by taking sleigh rides, having snowball wars, baking cookies, singing carolls, decorating a tree with handmade ornaments, having the children perform skits and maybe even having the kids exchange handmade gifts.
But until then I have to find ways to keep the spirit alive in my own home. We have done that successfully thus far, and the joy and peace that we experience I desperately want to share. Especially, when my friends and family complain about the schedules, and the pressure. We of course have some of that because of accommodating others, but if we could all be on the same page……
It’s idealistic I know…..I just can’t help it.
Everyone complains about it, but no one wants to change it.
You either buy everyone that you know or may possible see a gift and you spend a lot of your time and money in the crowded stores shopping, or you simplify your list and spend the rest of the time avoiding those people that didn’t make the finial cut.
That is no way to spend the holidays. You should be enjoying your friends and family and making memories, not debt.
I know some of you have been able to avoid this. A lot of you shop throughout the year. Some of you spend your days in the kitchen baking instead of in the stores. And others draw names or play some sort of gift exchange game to cut your shopping list in half. I have done all of these things myself, but it’s not just about shopping and money…..it’s about joy and warmth, and love, family, friends, and yes…..giving.
But what is the definition of value to you? Do you give gifts that meet your own definition, or do you give gifts that meet what you think the receiver’s definition is?
How do you feel after you have given that gift?

I need some home health care.

I’m not exactly sure how it happened, but my house is sick. So very sick. It came on suddenly and has been a mysterious and stubborn illness.
One moment I will walk through a room and peace and wellness reign. The very next time I enter the same room I discover that my house has gotten sick and thrown up all over the place. It’s one thing to clean vomit up after a child, but when your house is sick, it’s like cleaning up after Clifford the Big Red Dog. The aftermath is just too massive.
Is there a Doctor in the house? How would I know? I can’t even find my shoe.

How to enable a three year old:

I’m going to rename the children in this blog. I knew at the time that calling them by their ages would be confusing over time, but I thought that I would always go back and think of the perfect names for them. Well, I still haven’t but I will settle for the oldest girl being called Queenie; the youngest girl being called Grape and the baby boy being called Cub.


Okay, so things are easier now. As of a few months ago, and sill to this day, things are getting easier. Queenie is now out of her terrible three phase and I have my angel back. That was a short sentence for something that has made such a major impact on my life and the lives of those around her. Unfortunately, Grape is now going through her difficult three stage. It’s still easier all around than Queenie’s, but I can not wait to get my normal kids back. Grape has most of her monster tendencies after the sun sets. She has very “awake” dreams. She sits up in bed and yells at me to stop brushing her hair, or to tell her sister to share; at the top of her lungs, mind you.
In the beginning I tried to comfort her by explaining that she was dreaming and to assure her that I was not trying to take her yogurt away. I have now resigned to going along with the fantasy.

2 a.m. Grape sits up in bed and screams repeatedly that Queenie took her dinosaur and that it’s NOT FAIR!

I fervently reprimand the villain and…. it works. She’s quietly sleeping for about 20 more minutes. Then I get the opportunity to referee another injustice of my daughter’s imagination.
The catch to my new found method is that my other daughter has to be in the mood to participate in this ummm…game.

After a rousing game of musical beds I found myself in the girl’s room with Grape, while Queenie was resting in my room with hubby. I was in and out of consciousness frequently to reassure Grape that everything was going to be fine. It’s not as much about her not being able to sooth herself, as it is me not wanting to have the entire house woken up every half hour to her screaming. Not screaming with terror, but with anger mostly. Infact, you take your hands in your own life if you even try to adjust her covers after she has fallen asleep. I know this is just a phase, so please don’t try to psycho analyze her, or me for that matter.
Anyway, I was sleeping in the girl’s room and this evening there must have been a scene involving Queenie stealing all of Grapes toys playing out in Grape’s dreams because she would regularly wake up enough to fuss and tell on her. Out of shear exhaustion I would resign to the fact that this is our life right now, and how dare her sister be so inconsiderate. “Queenie, give that back to Grape right now! And don’t do it again, “would fly out of my mouth without even opening my eyes.
But at some point during all of this fun, Queenie came back into the room and was quietly sleeping, until the next time I reprimanded her for taking her sister’s imaginary toys. “Mom, I didn’t do it!!”
“I know hunny. Grape is dreaming again.” I responded. All the while Grape is still screaming because I didn’t sound convincing enough.
So now on top of all the other hats I get to wear, I’m now required to be an A-list actress.
But things are getting better. I promise they are.

Amen Sista' !

Scene: 4 yr. old and 3 yr. old sitting at opposite ends of the kitchen table eating a soy butter and strawberry sandwich for lunch.

4 yr. old: “3 yr. old, before we were in mom’s tummy we were in Heaven. Isn’t that right mom? We were in Heaven before we were in your tummy?”

Mom: “Yes, 4 yr. old you were.”

4 yr. old: “Yeah, those were the good days.”

Nahnah Nahnanah Boots Boots!

The air gets crisp and even the trees themselves seem to shiver with unbridled energy. The clothes that flatter my body more than any other season come out and I get to wear boots! Black, brown, short, long, sleek, chunky and all fun, fun, fun. I get to cook warm comfort food and bake things with apple and cinnamon, and have warm drinks, and wear cute jackets, Oh! How I LOVE the Fall!
The anticipation of change hangs in the very air you breathe and fills you up from the inside out. Long walks are a must and the frisky animals make me laugh. Oh! How I LOVE the Fall!
But it’s not here.
I can’t find it.
I have looked everywhere, but there is no sign of it’s presence or it’s coming arrival.
I’m sad.
So I start thinking. What is it they say? If you will it, it will come?
So I set my plan into motion.
While the house still slept, I gingerly set the thermostat to 62 degrees. I put on a large pot of stew and get dressed in my blue jeans and boots, of course. I light a candle that has Fall written all over it and wait.
Others laughed, but I believe.
I will continue to spend my Saturday’s in a Fall like state. Until one day….one day it will arrive in all it’s splendor.
You may be laughing now, but soon it will be my turn. I can hear you now, “Help, I’m cold! Let me have your cute jacket and your adorable boots!” And you will hear me howl with laughter in return as I call back, “You can have them, if you can catch me!“

Snakes, snails and puppy dog tails

My baby boy just turned a year old. At this point my husband and I are not planning on having any more children, but we have not done anything permanent to ensure that. Frankly, we like children way too much to ensure anything.

I was daydreaming the other day about having another boy so that my son would have a brother close in age. I see the girls enjoying each other so very much, and I want that for my boy. But there are sooooo many reasons why it was only a brief daydream.
For starters, I get sick when pregnant. Really sick. All nine months sick.
It’s better when I’m pregnant with boys than with girls, but it’s still, lay in the bathroom floor all day, sick.
I couldn’t effectively raise the three other children from the bathroom floor. Plus, there is no guarantee that we would get a boy.
And another issue is that well, I feel luck that my children were all born as healthy as they were. Yes, my boy needed open heart surgery, but it was treatable and we are now doing just fine. I hate to say that I fear having a child that is in a more permanent unhealthy state, but I do. Maybe not enough to Not have another child, but definitely enough to make me hesitant. All in all I would say this was fruitless conversation that worked it’s way out of my head and onto this screen.
Well now that’s better…..I guess since I’ve cleared some room up there, I should fill it with another daydream.

The one that got away.

I met up with a very old friend recently. This girl was my bff in elementary! I moved away in 6th grade and we reunited recently and planned to meet the next time I was in town. She is married now with a beautiful daughter and knows the where bouts of most of my other friends from that era.
I don’t know, but I think that there is something special about friendships that are forged at such a young age. The way I see it, if they liked you back then, when you were learning how to be likable then that is a genuine friendship. For some reason it just seems more honest and real then some of the ones we develop later. She like me before I was anything or anyone. Not that I’m particularly impressive now, but we do get judged by a different standard when we are older.
She will always have a place in my heart. And it feels good to be around something so old and familiar.

Do you still have childhood friends, and are they all they are cracked up to be?

Love is in the Air.

I am having an unusual evening….
As I sit and answer some emails and write this post I can smell something…
It’s not just something…it’s my past.
I can smell the perfume that I wore sixteen years ago. Literally.
It’s the oddest, most wonderful thing.
I wore a perfume several years ago called Unforgettable.
They no longer make it, and haven’t for many years. I loved it so much that I saved the little that was left in the bottle to wear on my wedding day. It was not expensive, but it brings back such warm lovely feelings. I am enjoying every breath I take.
I can not figure out were it is coming from. It seems like it’s coming from me. I am wearing something right now, and although it is nice and I enjoy it, it’s not what I am smelling.
I was in Dillard’s today and picked up some cologne for my husband….maybe I brought a little phantom perfume home with me…..
All I know is that I am filled with memories and feelings that belong to a young lady in love. I think I’ll sit here a little longer….

Cowboy hats, and wooden rafts, like Huckleberry Fin

We just got home from a family vacation. Not your typical family vacation which might include beaches, theme parks and large variety of animals. Ours included boats, food, water balloons, and animals of the homosapian variety; namely cousins…lots and lots of cousins. We centered our vacation time this year on the children and the making of memories and relationships with their cousins.

I think one of the best things about cousins is that they are family, AND you can chose them. You know what I mean. Your sisters and brother are a required relationship. Your cousins have that similar connection; that familiarity and camaraderie, but you can foster a relationship with some more than others, and that’s perfectly normal.

I remember spending large amounts of time as a child with my cousins. We filled our long summer days with adventure and imagination. Watermelon seed fights, bike races, slip n slides, tree climbing, books, songs, football, water hoes, and late night tag games which we always invited the lightning bugs to.
My cousins were like brothers and sisters to me.
I still hold on to those relationships; maybe harder than they do.
I was the only one of them that did not have a sibling close to my age.
They are such a part of me that I can not imaging letting those relationship go completely. I will admit that there are times when it seems to take more energy than I have to wrangle everyone together, and I feel like throwing up my hands and letting them drift out to sea.
But I know. I know that they will regret it, as will I.
They may not even notice that they are now less connected, but one day they will. One day the sun will be warming them up and they will get a craving for a good old water melon, and maybe a seed or two, and they will miss me… us. But it will be hard to turn the boat around. It will be heavier than before; for now it is loaded down with other people, families. They will be headed in a different direction altogether, you can’t turn around now. If we are lucky our paths may cross long enough to shout a word or two, or maybe wave….but no more tag. No more adventures.
The best that I can do now is to encourage my children to reach out to their cousins as I reach out to my own. And maybe you should reach out to yours.

This is an A B conversation....

Me: “Dear Jesus, Please help me be patient and PLLLEEEAAAASSSSEEE help these children mind their Mother!!!”

Child: “Mom, I think he’s too busy with other things.”

Life's short.

I’m not morbid, but I do think about mine, and . . . . ahhhumm. . . your mortality.
Not in a gross way, but in an ‘ I may not see you again Grandma ‘ kind of way.
I’ve been that way most of my life if I recall correctly. So when my grandmother had her stroke, there was nothing left unsaid.
I even took a video camera with me to Michigan when we visited my Hubby’s grandmother. I got her to record a 50th Anniversary message for my in-laws that will not be played for about another 15 years.
No, it’s not weird! It’s called foresight people!
And no, I don’t think she was freaked out by it all. In fact, she sort of got into it.

Maybe it’s been on my mind more than normal lately. After the situation with my son and then my grandmother and a few people dieing way too young within my circle, it gets a girl thinking.
That’s all I’m sayin’….
Plus before we flew to MI we made a will, you know, so if something went wrong the state wouldn’t get the kids and stuff. Just being responsible.
And now…..now I have an appointment with a breast specialist to evaluate a few lumps.
I’m not overly concerned, I even think it’s good to have things thrown into prospective. It gives life flavor and a certain sweetness, that must be good for you.

My children have never been more beautiful.
My faith never so simple.
And my heart never so full.

Come back to me....

It’s times like these when I miss my old late night lover.

It’s been so long…so very long since we last spent any quality time together.
We use to meet regularly; long late night dates that would last into the wee hours of the morning.
After a good night with him you could find me singing in the morning. Everything was going to be alright.
A night with him was like magic. We could go anywhere and see anything.
Such sweet memories….

But now….now I’m too busy for my old lover.
There are just not enough hours in the day. There are children to put in bed, dishes to wash, children to put in bed, clothes to fold, children to put in bed….

If I see my lover at all, it’s stolen moments here and there. It’s nothing consistent; nothing regular; nothing substantial.

Oh, how I miss my lover…..my sweet sweet …..Sand Man.

I think it's time to wash the dog.

I guess my nose has been permanently damaged from all the dirty diapers it has had to endure over the last
few years, because some things I just don’t smell.

I have learned to check the produce in my house once I see a fruit fly and have gotten in the habit of taking
out the trash a couple of times a day, but I have yet to get a routine down for bathing the dog and it’s starting
to show….or smell.

I bathe her when it occurs to me, but I must admit it is not on the top of my “to do” list.

Until today. . .

My oldest daughter is extremely creative and resourceful.

After our dog came in from outside smelling like a hot dog my daughter sprung into action to save her
good friend, Pinto’s, nose.



What you are looking at is a chenille winter cap and a child’s elastic headband.

I can’t decide if she’s going to be an engineer or a fashion designer.

Maybe I have too much time on my hands...

Oh, if I were only a clock.

A clock ; a good one anyway; has three hands.

It never finds itself out of time; in fact it is always right on time; a good one anyway.

It is always “in the moment” and does not get hung up in the past or overly concerned with the future.

It’s serving the exact and perfect purpose that it was designed to do.

It delivers its message precisely and accurately every time.

Others seem to not only listen to it, but plan their day around it.

I’ve never seen a clock with cheerios stuck to it, or people walking all over it.

I have never known one to feel inadequate or confused.

It never stutters or stammers when asked the time.

It never second guesses its purpose, or its effectiveness.

It just goes on ticking for all the world to see, and even when no one is watching.

Oh, to be a clock. . . .

I'll raise my glass to that.

1) When I die, I want to die like my grandfather--who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car." --AuthorUnknown

2) Advice for the day: If you have a lot of tension and you get aheadache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take two aspirin" and "Keep away from children." --Author Unknown

3) "Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar." --DrewCarey

4) "The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job, but if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house."--Jeff Foxworthy

5) "If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there is a man on base." --Dave Barry

6) "Relationships are hard. It's like a full time job, and we should treat it like one. If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to leave you, they should give you two weeks' notice. There should be severance pay,the day before they leave you, they should have to find you a temp."--Bob Ettinger

7) "My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, 'Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim.'" --Paula Poundstone

8) "A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: "Duh." --Conan O'Brien

9) "Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God.... I could be eating a slow learner."--Lynda Montgomery

10) "I think that's how Chicago got started. Bunch of people in New York said, 'Gee, I'm enjoying the crime and the poverty, but it just isn't cold enough. Let's go west.'" --Richard Jeni

11) "If life were fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead." --Johnny Carson

12) "Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us geography."--Paul Rodriguez

13) "My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the law." --Jerry Seinfeld

14) "Remember in elementary school, you were told that in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file line from smallest to tallest. What is the logic in that? What, do tall people burn slower?" --Warren Hutcherson

15) "Bigamy is having one wife/husband too many. Monogamy is the same."--Oscar Wilde

16) "Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress.. But I repeat myself." --Mark Twain

17) "Our bombs are smarter than the average highschool student. At least they can find Afghanistan." --A. Whitney Brown

18) "You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, 'My God, you're right! I never would've thought of that!'" --Dave Barry

19) Do you know why they call it "PMS"? Because "MadCow Disease" was taken. --Unknown, presumed deceased

20) "Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer." -- W. C. Fields

To be or not to be . . . .

This is my two year old being sugar.

This is my two year old being spice.

Any questions?

My babysitter is fired.

So I get this call from my neighbor. “Still Standing, it’s Stacie, I just wanted to let you know *giggle* that you are about to have a couple of escaped convicts on your hands. . . I wish I had my video camera!” “Really?” I reply. “Yeah, your girls have managed to pry their bedroom window open and pop out the screen, and now they are eyeing a couple of toys that they toss out for good measure and I think they maybe about to go after them. Oh! And one of them is naked.” More chuckling ensues.
I was not home at the time of this attempted escape, so I called my attentive husband and told him that he may want to check on the kids.
I pulled up to the house shortly after and found a mostly naked child hanging halfway out the window about two feet off the ground. When I asked them what the heck they thought they were doing, I was informed that the toys needed rescuing and that they were going to save them! Not to worry.

Thanks Dora and Diego.

Mirror Mirror on the Wall

After reviewing my last post, I realized that maybe I have a negative self image. . . .so off to the gym I went. That is where I am spending most of my free time lately. I will resume posting after I get a handle on this thing.
Wish me luck.

Random Stupids:

I had to conduct some casual business over the phone today. Apparently Jonathan, the genius, and highly intuitive guy on the other end of the phone, found me to be charming and possibly even witty for he asked me if I was married before the call was ended. I was completely flattered and had the goofiest grin stuck to my foolish face before I realized that the poor man has never laid eyes on me. So much for that.

I put the kids in bed repeatedly tonight. By 10:30 all I wanted to do was disappear. So after a minute or two of silence, I slipped outside to hide. Took a deep breath of fresh air; looked up at the sky and embraced the silence. The silence was interrupted by the sound of my two year old sneaking outside herself, apparently to hide from me. Boy was she surprised. She must think I’m everywhere. That’ll come in handy when she’s 16.