Monday, July 9, 2007

Cowboy hats, and wooden rafts, like Huckleberry Fin

We just got home from a family vacation. Not your typical family vacation which might include beaches, theme parks and large variety of animals. Ours included boats, food, water balloons, and animals of the homosapian variety; namely cousins…lots and lots of cousins. We centered our vacation time this year on the children and the making of memories and relationships with their cousins.

I think one of the best things about cousins is that they are family, AND you can chose them. You know what I mean. Your sisters and brother are a required relationship. Your cousins have that similar connection; that familiarity and camaraderie, but you can foster a relationship with some more than others, and that’s perfectly normal.

I remember spending large amounts of time as a child with my cousins. We filled our long summer days with adventure and imagination. Watermelon seed fights, bike races, slip n slides, tree climbing, books, songs, football, water hoes, and late night tag games which we always invited the lightning bugs to.
My cousins were like brothers and sisters to me.
I still hold on to those relationships; maybe harder than they do.
I was the only one of them that did not have a sibling close to my age.
They are such a part of me that I can not imaging letting those relationship go completely. I will admit that there are times when it seems to take more energy than I have to wrangle everyone together, and I feel like throwing up my hands and letting them drift out to sea.
But I know. I know that they will regret it, as will I.
They may not even notice that they are now less connected, but one day they will. One day the sun will be warming them up and they will get a craving for a good old water melon, and maybe a seed or two, and they will miss me… us. But it will be hard to turn the boat around. It will be heavier than before; for now it is loaded down with other people, families. They will be headed in a different direction altogether, you can’t turn around now. If we are lucky our paths may cross long enough to shout a word or two, or maybe wave….but no more tag. No more adventures.
The best that I can do now is to encourage my children to reach out to their cousins as I reach out to my own. And maybe you should reach out to yours.